Traffic Jam

Today I was rummaging through The Prosperity Project posts from way back when, and I found this post:

This morningI ran into a huge traffic jam on my way home from work and it took me an extra hour to get home. The traffic was at a dead stop for at least 7 or 8 miles of highway. It was very interesting because the longer I sat there, the more anxious I became. I was worrying about my dogs waiting to be let out to go potty, I was worrying about my blog post being late, and then I started worrying that maybe I was in the "slow" lane and I couldn't decide if I should try to change lanes or not, and then (40 minutes later) as we began to inch along I started worrying that my car wasn't running properly, and what if I had a flat tire, and what if my brakes were going out.. It was just plain silly.

I finally made it home, and my tire was fine, my brakes are fine, my car was running fine, and my dogs were fine. But I had a head ache and a stiff neck from all the worrying. And it occurred to me that this is a pattern for me. If things are moving too slow I begin to worry about all kinds of stuff.. Ridiculous stuff usually.. And I get all stressed out. But when things are moving along at a good clip, I am happy and exhilarated.. And feeling good.

So that was interesting, and something to think about. It reminded me of a quote I found a while back, here it is:

Anything worth doing is worth doing slow.
~Mae West

And when I look back at this, it also occurs to me that if the traffic hadn't slowed down, if every car had just continued on at our normal rates of speed - we would have all crashed and burned because the slowdown was caused by a 4 car pile up and they were having a hard time getting all the cars off the road.

The other thing I found interesting was that I am in that same place again today. No traffic jam, but that same feeling of impatience and worry and being in a hurry. And it occured to me, that I tend to keep things going at breakneck "roller coaster" speeds, and in no time at all I'm wishing for quiet and relaxation - even as I keep that accelerator floored - and then when I do get that much needed space for quiet and rest... maybe I "run off the road"... or "crash and burn"... maybe I get "pulled over" by my "inner cop"... 

So, why not find the delight in the obstacles that require my attention... the things in front of me that compell me to slow down and take it easy. Why not say thank you for keeping me sane and safe?

And it also occurs to me that I can talk about getting centered, and I can post about all kinds of spiritual stuff - but unless and until I can learn to really live in my center... to calm down and be here in this now moment... it's all just a bunch of bla bla bla.